The Neon God They Made

I have ambitions and expectations. Sometimes they are hard for me to communicate....Actually, most of the time.

A number of projects have been taken on by myself, but for most of them I expect to be alone.

I have been taking a lot of long walks, pretty much daily, even if this often absurd Maryland weather. Concentration is needed and it has always been hard to get that at home.

I am quite lonely, but this is nothing new.

Let's Talk Music

I have a few albums I feel like recommending to the general audience.

• "Arthur or the Decline and Fall of the British Empire" by The Kinks. Everyone always freaks out over the Beatles films and crap like Across the Universe. Listen to this and wonder why no one ever picked it up again for a film like it was originally meant to be.
• "New Day Rising" by Husker Du. Most say that "Zen Acarcade" was their best album, but I disagree. I'd say this is their best and "59 Times The Pain" is one of the most emotional songs I've ever heard while still sounding brutal.
• "Sea Change" by Beck. This was a major part of my soundtrack to life post-breakup. Probably his most serious album, no tricks or weirdness.
• "There Will Be Blood: The Original Soundtrack" by Jonny Greenwood. If you know your Radiohead, then you know who Jonny Greenwood is. Hard to believe he composed this intense score.
• "Emerald City" by John Vanderslice. This album is about life with 9/11 looming all over it. The first track is filled with great imagery, yet simplistic.

We'll see how this goes.

We're Going Drivin'

I really should have my driver's liscense by now. Sometimes I like to think that I'm doing a favour to the general population by not driving. S0, here are 5 reasons why I don't drive:

1. I get bored and startled really easily.
2. I have no problem with running down pedestrians that piss me off.
3. Remember that scene in Annie Hall where Christopher Walken's character talks about how sometimes he secretly wants to run over the guardrail and crash while he's driving and killing himself...Yeah.
4. I get annoyed and impatient pretty damn easily, which would cause frequent road rage.
5. Cars make me sleepy. I'm a wretched insomniac except when I'm riding in a car.

I'm buying a scooter and bumming rides.


Now I'd like to talk about something completely different and food-related.
Orange Juice.
I can't stand concentrated orange juice, I can taste that it is fake just like how I can tell the difference between regular and diet sodas. They are totally different. This has been going on for years and I cannot for the life of me understand how people don't notice things like that. Concentrated orange juice tastes bitter-ish and diet soda has a gross aftertaste. I don't care what new innovations come out, they all will never taste like the real thing.
I also cannot stand anything flavoured like cherry with the exception of Lucene's cough drops, Kool-Aid, and realy cherries. Cherry candy is....Not cherry. Who decided that it tasted like cherries?!

I am an unlikable, disturbing, and creepy person...And a target. I'm not bragging about it, but I'm stating a general fact that seems to a constant theme whenever I step into school.
Why bother? Its not even worse taking them all down to Hell with me anymore. There is no justice, no peace. It is humanity at its most insincere and pointless.

Forbidden Beat

I'm listening to one of my old Bad Religion albums right now..."Suffer". I believe I bought it around the age of 13 and used it as my wake-up alarm for a spell (which my mother was not happy with). But I would have to say that my favourite Bad Religion album of all time is probably "The Process of Belief". But I'm sad to say that I haven't been keeping up with them anymore, despite the fact that both Greg Graffin and Brett Gurewitz are one of the reasons why I started writing song lyrics at that time...Them and, of course, Michael Stipe.

I have a lot of books that I've been currently reading. I wish I had a quieter place to read, most of it gets done in the latest hours of the night (around the time I do my laundry). Recently, I found my copy of Soren Kierkegaard's "The Seducer's Diary" and Ralph Waldo Emerson's essays and poems, both of which I thought I had misplaced. Now if only I could get back my copy of Milan Kundera's "The Book of Laughter and Forgetting"... I recommend any of these books.
I've also started reading the novel that a movie I quite like is based on: "Mysterious Skin" by Scott Heim. The film was done by Gregg Araki, who ususally is known for his experimental teen films, but took a serious turn for this one and I'd say he did a very good job. The subject matter is very dark, so I wouldn't suggest it for all.

No idea why I feel the need to do my laundry at times like 1 AM. It seems reasonable to me to do it at those times, much to the confusion and annoyance of a few others. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I like to wake up with my pants fresh out of the dryer. There is nothing like putting on warm, clean clothes in the morning (especially if you live in a cold basement like I do).

I really need to get around to finishing watching Z (a foreign film from the early 70's).
And in other news, the TV remake of the Andromeda Strain is hilarious....They really messed that one up.

This is at least a year old, maybe a year and a half.

None would looks me in the eye,

So I laid myself before the road

Staring up at the sky turning red--what a Communist it is!

The priests present their offerings and leave them to rot at the alters

All mankind forget and I expect nothing less

In the street the cruel, warm asphalt ingraining into my back,

But still I cannot tune out

Leave me to my methods!

Have your voice taunt me no longer!

Forsaken men and their insolent howls bring upon the Rapture!

Iconoclasts, heathens, drunkards, and grubbers raise a glass to toast to success

But no part do I want, at least be no longer.

No holy book do I possess, no Scripture nor faith in Man, God, or Self

I will retire to my gravely chambers, no company will I keep.